I can understand if the perception from Christians to those leaving Christianity is that we blame "God" for our pain, tragedy, loss and hard times. I look back at the significant losses, starting with my maternal grandmother's cancer and death when I was seven years old… right up to my sister's tragic motorcycle accident this past July. I don't ever remember seeing "God" as the main cause for the loss. I don't ever remember railing at the Creator of the Cosmos about being responsible for my losses when I was communicating verbally with that "Creator". I never looked farther than the human elements in each loss.
I can credit my parents for passing along a very human journey of loss. As connected as they both were to their faith, I don't remember them every indicating that they blamed "God" for their losses. Maybe that is why I grew up without the whole hell narrative being a focus. My parents didn't know "God's" bad side, or at least the didn't show it to my sister and I.
Loss, Grief, Trauma, Pain, Sadness… have all been very human experiences for me. I don't see much change post-Jesus in how I processed my losses. When I was talking to "God, I don't remember asking "him" to spare me from pain either. I guess I felt like if other humans went through hard times, I wasn't going to ask for a free pass out it.
I am part of a world that knows pain. I have no answers or understanding as to the whys and wherefores of pain, but it exists and I deal with it when it comes my way. I don't need to wish it away or even find rainbows after the thunderstorms. I just need to walk through the losses and keep breathing as long as I can, because at least two people need me to breathe right now.
(written December 15, 2023)
No comments:
Post a Comment