082223 Why Christianity doesn't work for me anymore

1. Because of its need to be factual history

The Taoists don't need Lao Tzu to have existed for their sacred writings to mean something to them. I think that is the major flaw of Christianity… their sacred texts need the existence of their characters to matter. That's too bad. Maybe there is something worth reading in those texts and stories that can help humanity grow as a species, but the war waged to prove the characters were real or imaginary has taken away from the effectiveness of the story.

2. Because of its need to be embraced by the whole planet

It seems that for Christianity to be valid as a belief system, that the whole planet needs to believe it.  It seems ludicrous that any belief system requires a unanimous vote on it's authenticity.  If that is the case, then how can it be called belief or faith.  It is why I have so much respect for the Hindu religion.  They have embraced it because it works for them, but they don't need the whole planet on board for them to feel that their religious expressions are validated.  They hold other expressions with honour as well.  They understand how culture has impacted religious expression around the world.  There is no "one way", there is only one life we each have and we need to find a way to find meaning and love in that one life. 

3. Because it lacks the ability to embrace the present as much as the past.  

I need the fifty some years of my life on this planet to be the major expression of my world view.  My experiences and my perceptions need to be out in front when it comes to trying to navigate the world and what it all means.  Christianity's "hope" lies in a two thousand year old narrative.  Without it, there is no "hope" for humanity.  I would like a dance between the past stories and present experiences to be the formation of a healthy world view.  There is value in the past stories, but they must dance along with the lives we have experienced in the here and now.  

(written August 22, 2023) 

082023 My answer to the question "What is Supernatural?"

These are my philosophical thoughts today Everything I have access to is natural. Because I am a part of nature and everything that is... is natural unless it is human derived (unnatural?... maybe not) . . So maybe for me only two categories. Human derived and Outside of Humanity. Because if I as a human being am natural... now can I produce anything unnatural. So maybe it is all natural at its core... just some things come from humans and some come from outside of humanity. So then I don't even need to understand the "supernatural" because it doesn't exist. There are things that are beyond my humanity.. (squirrels, trees, rivers, wind, cosmos...) . There are things derived within humanity (cars, computers, skyscrapers, hair dye...) and myths and stories are a part of that. So maybe some of what we have deemed as supernatural can fit into the myths and stories that are human derived and the rest we can give back to the cosmos... thus being natural at its core. Just because we can't understand it... doesn't mean it's not natural. I don't understand a lot of things that are natural. Maybe "supernatural" is the label we use for the stuff humanity haven't found the blueprints for yet.

(written August 20, 2023) 

081623 Who am I now that she is gone?

(This is a post I shared on my Facebook groups for sibling loss. ) 

What I have found so significant with sibling loss and why it changes us, is that our siblings for the most part, defined our identity.  There was my older sister and then there was me.  I was a carefree, last born child, not needing to worry about the world and it's problems.  For most of my childhood, I had no idea that I had to figure out how to look after myself... because there was my sister.  It was her job to look after me.  For fifty five years... she was there looking out for me in one way or another.  We both had our own lives and our own families, but she never let go of that mantle of responsibility to look after me.  It's only been a month now that she died and I already find myself changing.  Who I am to the core has changed.  I feel it and I see my responses as evidence of that change.  We  will never be the same!  Whether that is a younger sibling or older sibling. We define each other and our relationships impact our personalities.  My sister would have been a very different person had I not come around.  An older sibling is not an only child.  I defined her identity by just being.  This can be a big reason why we are hurting so much.  We lost not just our sibling... we now have lost ourselves and must figure out how to be  different human beings as we move on without them.  

Understanding this won't for the most part ease the pain.  I just explains it.  Hugs and a whole lot of grace going out to everyone who has to now figure out who they are.

(Written August 16, 2023) 

081423 The Friend I don't fear losing

When asked about how I perceived a friend’s world view, I didn’t have a great answer, because I could define it well. I have known that person for more than forty years. One would think that I would know her world view. But thinking about it, I realized that our relationship is built on something more tangible. It’s not about what we think when we are together it’s more about what we do. We have just been there in each other’s space doing things together. I don’t think the focus has ever been on how we view the world as much as what we do together while we are in the world. If I had more friends like that I wouldn’t be so worried about hurting their feelings, disappointing them, or being awkward around them.  Those are the friends that I don’t fear losing. 

(Written August 14, 2023) 

081423 Evidence and Belief

I had this thought while mowing my lawn.  My apologies to Richard Dawkins... Evidence isn't enough to change a belief.  At the absolute minimum...Personal observation of evidence may be enough to negate a belief. Even then.... a person still has a will.     There may be evidence for a lot of things... but if I haven't personally observed them... I will still require belief to accept them as reality.  To me... things can make sense and I don't require agreeing on the basis of evidence.  Religion has stories, and so does Science...  so I get to choose which story makes more sense to me and which story I get to "believe".  This, I think, is the secret to embracing people in their differences.  For the most part, we aren't all that different.  We just "believe" different things.  

(Written August 14, 2023) 

073123 Grieving without God

I still still see the pain in her eyes and hear the anguish in her voice.  The "How" question still torments her.  How can I grieve my loss without Jesus, without God?  The very core of her being, the lifeline that she clings to is the very thing I let go of.  How can I navigate this most painful time without the one that holds her up every moment of her day?  

It's a strange question and a stranger response.  

"I will find a way, Mama.  But it will be my way, not yours… and we will both be okay." 

As I write this, today is the day of my older sister's funeral.   There was only two of us.  She is dead now and I am left to ponder what being "an only child" means as I go forward.  My mother wants to know how I will go forward now that I have left the faith that she still holds so dear.  I don't have a good answer that will soothe her at this time.  She knows no other way to navigate the loss of her daughter and my sister than with Jesus.  That's the same Jesus that I buried on Good Friday of last year, and didn't bring back to life.  

I want to help her find peace and not just for her journey, but for my journey.  I want her to rest from the anxious understanding that I am lost in some vortex of grief with no compass or guide through my loss.  I want her to walk beside me as she cries and I cry.  I want to embrace her as we laugh together when the amusing memories come to mind.  This is not a journey I intend to walk alone, just because I'm not walking with her God anymore.  

What if I can start drawing the map.  Maybe this year, I can show her that there is a way for me to "Grieve without God".  She doesn't need the map herself, but maybe if I can show her what that looks like for me, she will rest.

(written July 31, 2023)