052322 My Shortened Story (In Third Person)

Ruby grew up trying to balance the Lutheran devotion of her parents while living in the Mennonite world of her grandparents and community. 

It was cemented in her mind at a young age that religious labels were more important than family and community. 

Her teen years were lonely as her workaholic parents embraced a life on the road investing their time and energy into the buildings of church and less into the family. 

Boarding school came with mixed emotions and a hard lesson in growing up. 

It wasn’t until her second year of college that Ruby dared to attend a Baptist church. That was the beginning of the end of her need to follow in her parents religious footsteps. 

The following years would find Ruby investing thirteen years in the Pentecostal church, which would be her last commitment to big church 

A brief foray into house church was disappointing when she left to journey alone in her father's cancer and death. That was the last straw. 

Ruby found the new freedom to find her own journey with God in a new marriage. The institutions weren’t defining her faith... but eventually even that would unravel with the catalyst of the death of her nephew. 

Ruby consoled herself in reading.  Book after book pealed off another layer of her belief. Her confidence in the book that was supposed to be her guide dissolved and she was left with only two things to find her way and understanding to “that which gave her breath”... Love as she was experiencing it and The Natural world around her. 

She had hoped that she could build another foundation of faith in those two building blocks. But as the years passed they became the foundation. Love and Nature and her Poetic approach to the world around her would be her guiding star. 

Today, Ruby is content to call herself Agnostic in her understanding of the Cosmos and Atheistic towards the engendered, controlling "God" of her past.  

Ruby holds no animosity towards those who need a religious framework to navigate the world. Her desire is to understand and support whatever it takes for people to “get through the night”. 

Loving her husband, her cats, her mother and the rest of her family and friends is what gives Ruby energy and joy.  She finally feels at peace with the unknown and at rest with the journey she is on. Love is the energy and Joy and Hope is in the journey. 

 (written May 23, 2022)