082024 No need to imagine.

In a world of so many possibilities,  I often find myself wondering why people plant themselves along the highway of life and don't go any further.  New ideas to them are either frightening, threatening, intimidating or seemingly impossible.  

I have done something over the course of my life that, in a way I had hoped would help me to not be so attached to the things and people in my life.  I would often imagine what life would be like without them.  That exercise wasn't all-inclusive.  I never imagined what life would be like without my sister.  I imagined my parents dying, I've imagined my husband dying.  What would it be like for me to go on without them.  I thought I needed to prepare myself if and when that happened.  But my sister was always a constant in my life.  Even up to the last year of her life, I still believed that she would outlive me.  I had no need to imagine otherwise.  But today... I am living without her because she died thirteen months ago.  

My mother has "Jesus" in her life like I had my sister.  "Jesus" is her constant and she has planted herself beside him in the highway of life.  She has no need to go any further.  She has no need to imagine life with him.  

And then I come along.  I dared to go further.  I dared to keep walking I dared to discover that, indeed, there is a world beyond where my Mom is.  Life does go on without "Jesus" at least for me it does.  So I wonder now what she sees.  Her whole world is filled with "Jesus" and yet I have travelled past that reality.  Does she still see me now? 

(written August 20, 2024)